Sunday, August 28, 2005

Weekend Reflections

Despite having another good week at work, I found myself feeling very hateful and unhappy on Friday. I hated my job and every student who walked in my door. I was very bothered by my feelings on Friday morning during my first period class, because my students have really done nothing to justify my feelings. At the beginning of first period, I was a real bitch, but later in the day, I started to feel better about my students--there always seem to be one or two who make me feel bad about my bad attitude, and they do it by just being nice to me. By the end of the day, I decided that the reason for my hateful feelings was that I really do hate my job and can't let myself settle into a routine and forget about taking care of business so I can become a librarian. More and more, I am convinced that the librarian path is the one I should be on. After work on Friday, I met some co-workers at a local restaurant and had drinks, which, of course, made me feel very good. It was a nice way to end the week.

Yesterday, all I wanted to do was read--I needed to work, but I just haven't been able to make myself do that on the weekends since last school year. I had started Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell last weekend but had been so tired during the week that I hadn't read much at all. Yesterday afternoon, Valerie and I went to a local cafe for a while, me to read and her to work. I didn't get much reading done there, but I did get a lot done at home later in the day and that night. I read until 1:00 a.m. and would have kept reading, but I had plans for today and didn't want to be completely exhausted. The book reminds me a bit of The Hours by Michael Cunningham, which I loved. It is divided into sections telling the stories of different people in different time periods, but the stories are connected in some way. Except for the slight shock of one section ending in mid-sentence, I have enjoyed the novel immensely. I have been completely drawn into the stories. Of course, now that the weekend is over, I will have to return the book to the back burner until next weekend--after I read myself to sleep with it tonight.

This afternoon, Valerie and I went to the Theater District's Open House. We had a nice day in the heat, sampling food and music. We got some really good coupons for all kinds of great deals for theater district events, if we can just remember to use them. The best part of the day was watching this little boy "Be the Conductor." The symphony volunteer put a little tuxedo jacket on him and handed him a baton. He was so serious, but he was really trying to be the conductor. His dad tried to make him move the baton and his free hand in a certain way, but he had other ideas. When the music ended, he took a very professional bow. He was so cute!!!! He made me wish I had a cute little boy to be the conductor too.

I guess I better get ready for bed now. I have to be a teacher again tomorrow, unfortunately. Send me good vibes for another good week at the job I hate. :-)

1 comment:

Peace Be, Clint-Michael ... said...

Hey baby, good thoughts are coming your way for a great week. I hope that its ok. BTW, my english dept loved the stuff you did on 'this i believe' essay... each wanted a copy and we're all doing it as a dept. thanks for inspiring me with your creative ideas. You are great. I appreciate you sharing your stuff with me. I miss you. Love ya, and tell Valerie hi for me.