Wednesday, March 30, 2005
1. Middle school library job - I've worked with the person who is over the librarians in my district, and she said she would recommend for a job that is supposed to be available for next school year. Of course, if someone who is already certified applies, I will likely not even be considered. Also, the librarian at my campus said the principal at the middle school is hard to work with, but she assured me that I could handle him. I'm not so sure about that, but I think I would be willing to take that chance.
2. Academic Associate at my campus - This is an administrative position with various responsibilities relating to scholarships, testing, etc. I know I could do this job and do it well. I have been thinking since the weekend that I might need to leave the campus, not just the classroom.
3. ?????? - I guess there is always the chance that some other position will come up in the next couple of months, but I'm not very hopeful about it. I just know that I can not teach next year.
Monday, March 28, 2005
I found out Saturday afternoon that my application to study in Ireland this summer was rejected. I was actually devastated, perhaps even more devastated because until the moment I read the rejection letter I had been having a really great holiday weekend. I had just come from perhaps the best session yet for the essay workshop I'm taking. After reading the letter, I spent the remainder of Saturday in tears and sleeping away my sadness. Sunday morning I was angry at God, myself, the world, everyone & everything, but by Sunday afternoon I had recovered enough to consider what I will do this summer instead.
I'm still not sure what that will be but I think it will include taking a literature course and working on my master's thesis. I have procrastinated on the thesis long enough. I have to make enough progress on it so that I can defend it in the fall. I truly believe that if I have to teach another year that I will not survive it, professionally or emotionally. With my thesis completed, I will have more options. I think I want to become a librarian and/or work on a Ph.D, both of which require a masters' degree. Whatever I decide to do, I have to act on my decision soon so that I don't procrastinate and find that it's too late to act on it. I tend to do that more often that I like to admit.
Now, I have to get ready for work tomorrow, which I so don't want to go to--a refrain I've been singing all year. :-( (I said that to Valerie earlier today when she said she didn't want to go to work tomorrow. I liked it then and I like it now. ;-) Later.
Friday, March 25, 2005
Enough about that, while I was wasting time today, I watched several of those redecorating reality shows. They made me want to fix up my apartment. I've lived here for almost a year, and other than getting a new couch--a cool, burnt orange couch--I haven't done any of the designing things I thought I would do. I need something else to put my tv on--on one show today, a dresser was used, which I thought was a cool idea. I also need at least one more bookcase, and I should really replace my mismatched bedroom furniture, adding bedside tables too. My car will be paid for on Thursday--YEA!!!--and, unfortunately, I need some car repairs now. However, once those are done and I set up a payment plan with the IRS, maybe I can budget my way into some new/used furniture. There are so many antique stores in this area that I should really check them out before I buy new stuff. Alas, all of this will have to wait awhile though so I will not bore readers (like I have readers) or myself with my apartment makeover dreams.
I really should hook up my printer and take care of my workshop readings & critiques now. I can't find anything fun to watch on tv now anyway. Later.
Monday, March 21, 2005
Thursday, March 17, 2005
Friday, March 11, 2005
I am having a horrible end to this Spring Break. I’m staying with my dad while my sister Susy, his caretaker, & her 2 children are visiting Susy’s best friend & her family. I wanted to help Susy and give here a break from Dad, but I should have feigned illness or something. Too bad my work trip didn’t last the whole week.<>My dad is disgusting. Last night, he shit on the floor in the bathroom then tracked it down the hall to his bedroom. He never hits the toilet with his urine anymore. He should be in a nursing home NOW! Not 9-12 months from now, which is when a new nursing home will be open down the street. While I was cleaning it up, I had all these horrible thoughts about him. I realized that I can not love the man he has become. I think I hate him now. That’s a horrible thought, I know. I still love the man he was when I was growing up, but he’s no longer that man--no longer a man of life. I wish that I was more selfish and didn’t appreciate Susy’s sacrifice so much, then I could call her and tell her that I have to leave and she will have to cut her vacation short. I’ve even thought about trying to convince my other sister Kelly & her husband to stay Saturday night, so I could go home tomorrow night. I just can not stand for Dad to be in the same room with me, and I certainly don’t want him to touch me or me to touch him. This morning, he fell, and Kelly & I had to help him up. Just the thought of touching him made me gag. > <>
Damn. There he goes into the bathroom again. He absolutely makes me sick. He will come out with his pants wet, and leave the most nauseating smell you can imagine. I don’t see how Susy and her kids live with him everyday. I just want to run out of here and never come back. As a matter of fact, I hope Susy has a great time this weekend, because I will never do this again. I just can not stand it. > <>
Well, I guess that’s enough whining and self pitying for now. Maybe I will go to bed early and read some Shirley Hazzard’s The Great Fire. >
Monday, March 07, 2005
I woke up in a pensive mood this morning, feeling a need to write, but I'm on a research trip to look at some schools in San Antonio and Austin that have AVID programs and do teaming. No time to write some of the things floating around my brain this morning, and tonight I'm feeling pretty brainless. The day was actually very informative, and I'm not completely disappointed about having agreed to spend 2 days of Spring Break on this trip. My co-workers have actually been good travel buddies, which kind of surprised me. Except for one person, these co-workers are not people that I would call "work friends," and I was a bit worried about having to spend so much time together. So far, so good. I am glad though that I didn't agree to share a room with the two other ladies in the group. We have stayed in a suites hotel both nights, so there would have been plenty of sleeping space, but bathroom time and space would've been a problem. I figured that I live alone so I could stay in a hotel alone, and I'm so glad I did.
About literature -- On the way to San Antonio yesterday, I read quite a bit of What Was She Thinking? [Notes on a Scandal]. I finally got to the part where the teacher has sex with the 15 or 16 year old student. While the situation may not be funny, the narrator's take on this situation is often times hilarious. I am really enjoying the black humor of this novel, but the descriptions of the 40+ year old teacher sneaking around to have sex with a 15 or 16 year old boy are kind of creepy. I teach high school, & I can't imagine ever wanting to sneak around and have sex with any of my students. YUCK!!
Friday, March 04, 2005
About literature - I just started reading What Was She Thinking? [Notes on a Scandal]. It's about a teacher who is writing about a co-worker & friend who has an affair with a student. So far, the book is very funny and right on in describing teaching situations. At one point a teacher describes a new teacher's unruly and undisciplined class: "It was Lord of the Flies in there." I laughed when I read this. I immediately thought of the class that goes on across the hall from me. The teacher is just out of college, and she started at midyear. I am just waiting to hear screams of "Help!" from there. I just know it will happen before the year is over. I really don't see how any learning goes on in there at all.
Well, I guess that's enough to begin.