Sunday, September 11, 2005

Where have I been?

I can't believe that it's been almost 10 days since my last post. Pretending to be a good, dedicated teacher is hard work, and it makes me tired. Most evenings, I come home after work and have no energy for anything other than watching television and veg-ing in my big comfy chair. If I find the energy to do my three mile walk, I feel good until I step out of the shower, then I just feel exhausted. While I don't like being so tired, my pretending has worked so far. I haven't had any really bad days, but I am beginning to feel depressed about the whole teaching situation, especially the feeling that I work so hard and do so much yet I still have so much to do. Thursday, I'm going to do two things to start the ball rolling on changing jobs after this school year. I know I have to be pro-active this year because nothing is going to fall in my lap. Also, I know that I don't have the right kind of connections to get out of the classroom without leaving the school district I now work in. I don't play politics well enough, unfortunately, but I don't want to think about that now.

Although I haven't been posting lately, I have had some ideas for posts. I will just list them here with a few comments. Maybe I will expand on them later, when I'm not needing to go to bed so I can get up for work in the morning.
  1. I have an extreme case of book lust. I am in the middle of reading and enjoying Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell, yet I am constantly thinking of other books that I want to read. Since Thursday, when the short list for the Man Booker Prize for Literature was announced, I have been obsessing over how I can get a copy of The Accidental by Ali Smith. The book is not out in the U.S. I'm sure I can order a copy from some online bookseller, but I haven't pulled out my credit card just yet. Of course, I should & probably will just wait for it to come out here, but I can't seem to stop thinking about it. I read and loved the author's first novel, Hotel World, so I want to read her new one. I think that I would feel this way even if the novel wasn't shortlisted for the Booker Prize. To truly understand how silly this desire is, you would have to see my "to read" shelves on one of my bookcases plus I have a stack of at least three books by my bed. These books are supposed to be next in line, but I have no fidelity to that line. I am always wanting more books to read and thinking of more books to re-read. To make the book lust worse, I surf literary blogs often. Yesterday, I checked out Confessions of an Idiosyncratic Mind. The most recent post concerned a novel called Taming the Beast. The blogger's review made me want to read this book, which is not out in the U.S. yet. I guess I should be glad that these two books are not here yet--money saved is always a good thing, right?
  2. It's football season!!! I love football, especially professional football. I grew up watching the Cowboys (they won today!!!), and I still love them. However, I will watch whatever NFL game that is on, and I know the rules too. I'm not sure why I love football so much. I am an intelligent, intellectual woman, but I love to see a man get "jacked up" on the football field--ESPN Monday night pre-game show fans will know what I'm talking about. Maybe instead of a librarian, I should become a football coach. ;-)
  3. I've been thinking much about my singleness. I enjoy my solitude for the most part, but I know that some people who know me irl probably think I'm a lonely, old spinster or that I have an easy life with few responsibilities (I'm sure some envy me that). Sometimes I am a lonely, old spinster, but most of the time, I enjoy being single and living alone. I don't have to explain my every move to anyone. I can make choices and not be concerned about anyone else's feelings. I can come and go as I please. Does my desire for a solitary life make me some kind of weirdo? I hope not, but I have a feeling that other people would say yes. I will definitely have to write more about this later.
  4. The Katrina aftermath. My friend Penny thinks Bush's mishandling might lead to some kind of political shake-up. I wish I could be that hopeful. I'm afraid Americans have short memories. My positive feelings are for all the people of Texas, especially Houston of course, who have aided people affected by the hurricane and its aftermath. I'm not one of those Texans who is more patriotic to Texas than to the U.S., but I have to say that I'm proud to be a Texan and a Houstonian these days. I still won't say the Texas pledge at work though, but that's another story.
I guess I better go to bed now. I told Valerie earlier that I wanted to stay up all night reading and writing and play hooky from work tomorrow, but I have to miss work on Thursday, so I can't play hooky tomorrow. Therefore, I need sleep. I need to clean my kitchen too, but I guess I will do that when I get home tomorrow night.

Wait before I go, I have to recommend the movie Junebug. I gave up watching the Cowboys win today to go see it with Valerie. Before we went to sit down, we read some comments by previous viewers. The comments were not good: "Worst movie ever." "Malo pero autentica." "Very slow but authentic." I think only one was good. We talked about slipping out if the movie was that bad and going to see another one that we wanted to see. It started 30 minutes later than Junebug. Well, I don't know what movie those people watched, but I liked the movie. I didn't think it was slow at all. It was quite funny and very interesting. I didn't even think about the Cowboys game that I was missing. Believe me, that is high praise for a movie. :-)

Good night now.

1 comment:

Sylvia said...

"I enjoy being single and living alone. I don't have to explain my every move to anyone. I can make choices and not be concerned about anyone else's feelings. I can come and go as I please."

This is exactly how I feel too. And I find that the more time I spend alone, the more I enjoy people. But I still don't want to live with them!