Thursday, April 21, 2005


I have had a sinus headache all week, so I was very proud of myself today when I didn't allow myself to get angry about this morning's TAKS mess. Our testing coordinator has been organizing tests for at least five years now. Still, each year, there is some kind of disorganization and/or confusion. Today, we had been told to pick up our test booklets & answer sheets between 7:45 & 8:00, but nothing was where it was supposed to be. Some people didn't get their materials until 8:20. We didn't receive certain necessary forms until testing time was almost over. In past years, just the thought of test days made me angry, abnormally angry. Today, though, I just accepted the problems and waited until they were worked out. I've been having such a bad year that I never would have expected myself to be so easygoing about this situation, but I was. I've been so stressed lately, too.

I have been feeling like I'm drowning lately, like something is pushing me underwater. I keep trying to tread water, but I get tired and start sinking. Today, I got to work and discovered that a co-worker had put some thing on my desk, some Shakespeare project that had been printed off the internet. My reaction was completely irrational. I was angry and wanted to scream. I just felt like those three pages were going to smother me. Of course, she meant well--we are preparing to move to a new building in the fall--she found the papers when she was sorting through her materials. I had a similar reaction a couple of weeks ago when I arrived at work to find that the English dept. chair had put some old student projects, related to British poetry, on my desk when she had been sorting the evening before. I have not begun to sort through my materials, but when I do, I promise not to even offer to add to anyone else's load.

This evening, we had the first selection meeting for our district's online literary magazine Cacophony. I was very excited to see all the students taking their job seriously, selecting photos, art, poetry, & prose to be published online in a couple of months. However, dealing with the teacher from the other high school was a headache in the making. When we were getting organized to create the ezine, she had been adamant about certain rules for submission, which she didn't enforce, but we did on our campus. We did get selections made though. On the way home from the meeting, which I left with a huge headache, Valerie & I made a list of issues that have to be resolved when we get back together in the fall. For now though, I can't wait to see our magazine online!

DB update -- She always gives me a headache. Two days ago, I pissed her off by telling her in front of two co-workers that she has low expectations for our students. And she does. She never has anything good to say about her students' abilities. She has made a point of not speaking to me for the past 2 days. Well, I am giving up my English 2 pre-AP classes for next year, and the department chair has assigned those classes to her. This afternoon, she came slinking into my room and said in her fakest sweet voice, "I'm going to be coming to you for help next year." Of course, I knew she had learned about her new assignment. Although neither the department chair or I really wanted her to have the pre-AP classes, I have decided that my sanity is more important than my spitefulness, which is not unwarranted in this case.

I guess I will take some more sinus medication and go to bed. Maybe I won't have a headache tomorrow, at least not as many.

1 comment:

Valerie said...

I tried to catch you online just now, but you are gone. :-(

I don't really know what I'm commenting on, except to tell you that I read your post and I wish I could make things better for you.